Black Squid

Free website checkup

Find out what's actually broken on your website.

Paste your address and we'll send you a short report on what's broken — in plain English, with instructions to check each finding yourself. Free, and afterwards, nothing happens unless you ask.

What we check

Nine things that quietly cost a business money. Every one is on your site right now, working or not.

Pages hidden from Google

The services you sell are on a page Google has been told to skip. People searching for exactly what you do cannot find you.

Placeholder text left behind

Your page title still says what the template shipped with. It is the first line people see in a Google result.

Phone numbers that dial someone else

The number on screen and the number the tap actually dials can be different. The caller reaches a stranger — or nobody.

Contact forms that go nowhere

Enquiries vanish silently. Nobody tells you, because the person who tried to reach you cannot.

Broken link previews

Someone shares your site on Facebook and the preview is blank, or a logo tile. Paid ads with a blank preview are paid twice.

Links pointing at other businesses

A footer or social icon that sends your customers to a different company entirely.

A page for each service

If everything you do lives on one page, nobody finds you for the specific job they need doing.

Speed on a phone

Most people look at your site on a phone, on mobile data. We measure it the way they experience it.

Duplicated page content

Some templates make the browser build your page twice before showing it. Visitors pay for that in waiting.

What this is not

It is not a full SEO audit, not a security scan, and not a design critique. We will not tell you your colours are wrong or sell you a ranking package. The checkup looks for things that are objectively broken — a link that dials the wrong number is broken in a way nobody needs to debate. If we do not find anything, the report says so.

What you get

A short PDF

Not a dashboard, not a login, not a tool you have to learn. A document you can read in five minutes and forward to whoever fixes things.

Ordered by cost, not score

Plain English, sorted by what each problem costs you — not by a severity number that means nothing to a business.

Nothing held back

The whole report is the free part, including how to fix each finding. There is no paid version with the real answers in it.

You do not need us

Whoever built your site can do most of the fixes. The report is written for them as much as for you.

Your free demo website

If you would rather see what a new site would look like, we will build you a demo of your own business, free. That is a different offer: the checkup tells you what is wrong with the site you have; the demo shows you what a new one would look like.

And then nothing happens

No sales call. No follow-up sequence. No second automated email. You get the report, and the next move — if there is one — is yours. That promise is the reason a stranger can paste their address here, and we know exactly what breaking it would cost us.

Found this week, on real sites

Anonymised, because these are real businesses. Every one comes with the way to check it on your own site — that part matters more than the finding.

An Ontario fuel carrier

Found: Three contact links displayed one phone number and dialled a different one. The main enquiry button opened an email to a recruiter at another company.

Check it yourself: Tap your own phone number on your site. Look at the number your phone actually offers to dial before you press call.

Every mobile visitor who tried to call got someone else. There is no missed-call log for calls that never reached you.

An Iowa electrician

Found: Every page except the homepage was hidden from Google. Three page titles still read BUSINESS NAME, straight from the template.

Check it yourself: Search Google for site:yourdomain.com — the result count is every page of yours Google is allowed to show. Then look at your browser tab titles.

Years of service pages invisible to the searches they were written for.

An Ottawa arborist

Found: The blog section was headed with a painting company’s article title, and the footer Instagram icon linked to a different business entirely.

Check it yourself: Click every icon in your own footer and read your own blog headings. Two minutes, no tools.

Customers handed to another company by the site that was supposed to win them.

A Petawawa tree service

Found: Paying for Facebook ads while the shared link showed no photo and no description — a bare grey box.

Check it yourself: Paste your website address into a Facebook post draft and look at the preview it builds. You do not have to publish it.

Ad budget spent sending people a preview that looks abandoned.

Questions people actually ask

Is it actually free?

Yes. The whole report, including the fixes, at no charge. It is how we introduce ourselves: most owners have never had anyone check these things, and a useful report is a better introduction than an ad.

What do you do with my details?

We use your website address to run the checkup and your email to send you the report. That is the whole list. No mailing list, no drip sequence, no passing your details to anyone.

Do I have to buy anything?

No. The report includes the fixes, and whoever built your site can do most of them. If you would rather see what a new site would look like, we will build you a free demo of your own business — but only if you ask.

How long does it take?

A couple of business days. A person runs the checks and writes the report — it is a checkup, not an instant scan, and the difference shows in what it catches.

Do you need access to my website?

No. Everything we check is visible from the outside — the same way Google and your customers see your site. No passwords, no plugins, nothing installed.

Will you call me afterwards?

No. You get the report and that is the end of it, unless you reply. No sales call, no follow-up sequence — that promise is on this page in writing.

My site was built by someone I know. Is this awkward?

It does not have to be. The report names problems, never people — and most fixes are small enough that whoever built the site can do them in an afternoon.

What if you find nothing wrong?

Then the report says exactly that, and you have something most owners do not: actual confirmation the basics work. We would rather send a short clean report than invent findings.

Get your report

Your website address and an email to send the report to. That's the whole form.